Well, we finally did it!!!

That's right after 2 long years trying to conceive and after multiple early losses I am blessed to say WE'RE PREGNANT!!! and yes I'm yelling at you, because I'm so happy. We have a fun picture that we're going to use to make the announcement on facebook. But for now we've tried to tell all our family and friends before making it totally public.

We actually found out really early on 8DPO and the lines only got darker from there. Baby Esquivias or as we call it Jelly Bean is due on April 20th 2013. I appreciate all the support we've received during this difficult time.  All the hurt, loss, and anger hasn't been wiped away but it's eased the pain. This child brings new light into our lives, and we are thrilled. Happy is starting to replace the pain. Every week that passes it gets easier and every time I hear that heartbeat my heart is over joyed. I love you Jelly Bean and cannot wait to kiss your sweet face.

God is good!!!!

The dreaded 2 year post

Well I was really hoping to not have to write this post, and there was a time recently when I didn't think I would have to. But alas the time has come.
Well folks it has been two years since we started trying to conceive. Two years of temping, and testing, PNVs, and blogging, and chatting, and "just relaxing" Yup, I feel like we've tried every trick in the book. Having a child doesn't come easy for everyone and we know all too well about this. We've heard it all from friends and family, and even though we appreciate the sentiment sometimes it's just hard. Through this process I've tried to stay positive and recently we decided to just let go. I have had a lot of "hard" days but through it all I've had God, my husband, and my friends at my side.
Are we trying too hard, not hard enough, not doing enough, not ready enough, not good enough? These are the questions I find that I'm asking myself along with why me!? Well I don't know the answers to these questions, and maybe I never will. I'm learning that even though it's not who I am it's okay to be angry, and even though I may be a Christian woman, it's okay to not understand His plan. Just that I need to keep the faith, and keep moving forward.
What's the next step for us you ask? Well that's where we are at now, trying to decide just that. We'd like to buy a house soon, and we've been saving for it. But if we do IVF we cannot afford a down payment. I hate that it feels like we need to choose between a better place to live and the chance of having a baby. But that is what it boils down to for us. So we are still in limbo. We will still be actively trying on our own and using some natural supplements & accupuncture. But for now expensive treatments are on hold until we can make these big decisions.

A Sentiment, that is all too easy to forget.



Things I love- TTC Edition

I like to write a post once in a while about products, clothes, food, or websites/apps that I'm really into at the moment. But I've never really mentioned what TTC things I like to use. So for those of you that are TTC check these things out.

The Website http://www.fertilityfriend.com/ is a super useful tool. It's a wealth of information and a great place to keep all your information regarding TTC. It also allows you to chart your daily temperatures and all signs & symptoms which is great!

For a Basal Thermometer for daily charting I recommend the Mabis thermometer that you can get at Walmart.

 Taking Charge of your Fertility is the first thing I bought when we decided to actively start trying to conceive. I bought this book after I reading so many postive reviews, and learning about it from the TTC community on the bump. I had just finished nursing school and had done a ton research so I thought I knew it all. Boy was I wrong, TCOYF had a great deal of information that I had no idea about so I learned a lot. I found it to be an easy, and even enjoyable read. It was well organized and made it easy to find sections that I wanted to review.

Ovulation Predictor Kits (OPKs)

I highly recommend buying internet cheapies from somewhere like ebay or amazon. Then when you think you might have a positive double check it with a digital. My favorite digital is Clear Blue Easy. It gives you a little happy face which makes it much easier to read than 2 lines. They always have coupons, which help bring down the cost.



Don't Ignore...

...yourself.

During the last few years I myself have struggled with Infertility and PCOS. It's been a long road and I never imagined how hard it truly would be. However I'm not in this struggle alone, and I cannot be more grateful for that fact. I'm a pretty private & sensitive person. I started to research PCOS & Infertility and started posting online. I found friends that I could be open with and not feel judged by. I even started this blog to help open up about our struggles with IF, and it has helped me tremendously.

My advice to any couple or woman out there who is alone in struggling with IF is to seek support. I understand that it is a touchy & personal subject but there are other avenues than friends/family to discuss it with. Wives talk to your husbands and be open with him as to how you're feeling and husbands do the same with your wife. You can even seek the help of a professional therapist, a tool I myself have been recently contemplating. A great way to discuss what you're going through is to find an online community one such as Thebump.com or Babycenter.com. These sites have community's specifically for people who are trying to get pregnant or people who are having trouble TTC. You can be totally anonymous or divulge who you are, it's up to you. Don't ignore the way you may be feeling. Feeling hurt, angry, sad, lonely, or alone are not good feelings to bottle up inside. I've been there, and it's not fun. Open up to your spouse, your family, your friends, or anonymously, just don't ignore who you are and how you're feeling.

Whatever stage you may be at in your IF journey find your support system. If you already have one great! If you don't I'd be happy to offer any advice, point you in the right direction, or be the support you may need. Please feel free to contact me.

For more information on infertility and National Infertility Awareness Week, please visit the following links:

• Basic understanding of the disease of infertility : http://www.resolve.org/infertility101
• About NIAW : http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html

Don't Ignore...

...the Causes of Infertility

As part of national infertility week I wanted to be part of Resolve's Don't Ignore... Blogger's Unite. I've decided to write this blog about PCOS(polycycstic ovarian syndrome). Obviously there are many causes for Infertility some of them are even unexplained. PCOS is one of the current leading causes of infertility; it is close to my heart and something I feel I know a great deal about.

Infertility is a medical issue that affects 1 in 8 couples. PCOS affects millions of women world-wide and some don't even know they have it. It is one of the most common endocrine disorders, it's up there with thyroid disorders or even diabetes! Yet it is still not as widely known or talked about. There is no cure for it, but the symptoms are treatable.
Most simplistically PCOS is the imbalance of women's sex hormones. It is a metabolic disorder that affects several body systems that can cause significant long-term health consequences. It is often characterized with multiple small painless cysts that form in the ovary. If you ask a women who has it she will tell you that it is acne at the most inopportune times, it is unwanted facial hair, excess weight gain, difficulty losing weight, weird growths on the back of her neck, mood swings, irregular menstrual cycles, infertility, and in the most severe cases the inability to conceive even with intervention.
PCOS symptoms can be helped with the use of birth control, but for women that are trying to have a baby that is not an option. We have to endure the symptoms while it may take years to get pregnant. Not all women who have PCOS have issues trying to get pregnant, however the majority do. If you have PCO and have annovulation then the chances are you will have some issues conceiving.

                                                              A ploycystic ovary view from an ultrasound.

You can be tested for PCOS by an OB/GYN or even your family practitioner. It is mostly diagnosed by your symptoms but hormone labs, and an ultrasound can be done to confirm. Patients who have PCOS are at higher risk for having insulin resistance, and for developing type II diabetes, ovarian cancer, and possible cardiovascular disease. So if you've been diagnosed please take care of your body and see a Doctor regularly. If you have the symptoms make an appointment with your Physician to get more information and tests preformed. If you are one of my PCOS cysters help make others aware: blog, FB, and share information about PCOS. The only way to find a cure is to make people more aware, and interested in finding out more.

http://www.resolve.org/infertility101  (Basic understanding of the disease of infertility.)http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html (About NIAW)

It's National Infertility Awareness Week

April 22-28, 2012 is National Infertility Awareness Week®, a nationwide campaign intended to educate the public about infertility and the concerns of the infertility community.

I am trying to spread the word for the infertility movement. We need more bloggers, law makers, insurance policy creators, donors, well everyone to get involved! If you live in Washington DC or Atlanta Georgia you can participate in the Walk for Hope. It's is my goal to help create a Walk for Hope in southern California or to at least travel to Scottsdale, Arizona next year so that I can participate. Let's tear down the wall of ignorance together!

I'm participating in Resolve Blogger's Unite program. My Don't ignore post is about PCOS (polycycstic ovarian syndrome) check it out tomorrow.

Infertility is a medical condition, it is a disease that is often overlooked and seldom talked about. I realize that infertility isn't a life threatening disease and so understandably it's not on most people's radar. I don't want to compare infertility with something like cancer as I get that they are very different things. But I would like people to see that infertility is life altering, financially debilitating, and heartbreaking. Being a couple who wishes to have a child and are unable to without medical intervention is awful.
Most insurance plans have little to no infertility coverage which puts a huge financial strain on infertile couples.  I pray that this changes in the future so couples will have more options. It is a terrible thing for a young middle-class married couple to have to choose between buying a home for the future, maybe going to grad school or just the chance of having a child. I understand that having a child is a huge expense but it just doesn't seem fair in my mind to have to start out paying 15,000 for something that should be free (natural) or at the very least an intervention that is covered by your insurance plan.

Please don't ignore infertility and find out what you can do to help.

• Don’t ignore opportunities to talk about infertility.   Do you blog? Tweet? Teach a health class? Have a book group? Take advantage of opportunities in your daily life to share information about or bring attention to the cause of infertility.
• Don’t ignore legislation affecting infertility patients.  Several pending and existing laws encroach upon the rights of the infertile to freely build their families. Help change policy and protect your rights by writing to your representative or attending RESOLVE's Advocacy Day in Washington, D.C. on April 25. 
• Don’t ignore infertility support available.  Infertility is a lonely road, but no one has to travel it alone. Join an online infertility forum or local support group to find a warm, welcoming environment.
• Don’t ignore people struggling with infertility.  Reach out to friends or family members struggling with infertility. Ask how you can best support them in their journey. 
• Don’t ignore the impact of making a donation. Every cent donated helps bring needed programs and services to women and men with infertility. Sign up for the Walk of Hope or create your own fundraising event in your location.
• Don’t ignore family building alternatives.  You can build your family through many paths. During this week, open your mind to options that you had not previously considered.
• Don’t ignore your own strength. If you’re engaged in the fight against infertility, take a moment to recognize your courage and determination, as well as that of the sisters and brothers fighting alongside you.

• http://www.resolve.org/infertility101  (Basic understanding of the disease of infertility.)
• http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html (About NIAW)

If you or someone you know is dealing with infertilty please pass along this information/blog. I would love to be able to reach out to someone that may be going through this as well.

Why do I have to pay for something that should be free?

We had our first appointment with a reproductive endocrinologist today. The appointment went well, but I left feeling depressed. I feel like pregnancy is only that much farther away, when I assumed I'd be feeling more confident that it would be happening soon.

We expected to learn that we would be paying a significant amount to have some medical assistance, but never the amount that they presented us with this afternoon. It makes me angry that we have to pay for something that is free for so many others. We may have to put off buying a house so that we can have a child, how is this fair? Well it's not! Sometimes life just isn't fair and I'm learning that the hard way. The worst part is that we may pay all this money and come away empty handed! I'm trying not to think that way and to stay positive but I have to be real & honest with myself as well.

We are left wondering what the next step is. Get a second opinion? Use our savings, or put it on credit? Should we wait or just do it now?
All I know is to pray, and hope that God will give me the answers that I seek.

I hope I have that winning lottery ticket. :)

18 Months

Well today marks the beginning of month 18 when it comes to us trying to conceive. (2 years without Birth Control) I realize it isn't all that long, but our dream of being parents seems like an uphill battle at this point. We are trying to stay positive, and understand that God is the only one who knows when the right time will be for us. We've made a plan, and are ready to get started with some new treatment options. We are both working on getting ourselves healthy, and taking things one day at a time. I love having my husband by my side, and spending time with him. We are trying not to dwell on what's missing in our lives, but appreciate all the good things that we have. I'm not saying it's not hard, but just that it doesn't help me to be bitter and jealous.

DX: Infertility

Photo Credit: Stacy Lynn Baum

On Friday I had my annual physical and pap appointment with my primary Doctor. We went over lab work, my recent weight loss, and of course the fact that J and I have been trying to get pregnant for 16 months, with one loss under our belt. At the end of our talk my Doctor handed me a persciption for J's Semen Analysis and she thought a sonohystogram would be beneficial for me. I took the Rx, thanked her and went on my way. When I got in my car I took a look at the Rx that she gave me while I sat in my car and there is was in the right hand corner Dx: Infertility. I'm not sure why I got so upset because I've tried my hardest to stay strong and positive. We knew at the beginning of this journey that it would be long, I thought I prepared myself for this. I know what I've been diagnosed with it, but seeing it there in black in white made me sad. I started crying, and not just a few tears but actual full blown ugly crying. I really hope no one saw me, because I probably would have freaked them out. I realize that we are not the only ones going through this, but at that moment I felt selfish, angry, and hurt all at once. I was in need of a reality check! 

I've had sometime to think about it and that isn't me I'm not an angry or selfish person. I'm still allowing myself to be hurt because that is only natural, but I've decided to have hope & faith again.  My body may be broken, but I'm not unfixable. I have support in my husband, and my friends. Even my Mom is there for me to vent or cry to now. I'm glad I have places to go and not feel judged, but loved. I have hope that one day we will have our take home baby.



Trying to conceive Tips, Tricks, and The Infertility Basics

A friend of mine created a blog about Infertility Basics. I thought I'd share some of her info along with some tips and tricks I've learned in the last 16 months.

First let's start off with some acronyms so that way your not confused by this post and many others.

ART - assisted reproductive technology

BBT - basal body temperature/thermometer
BCP - birth control pills
BFN/BFP - big fat negative/positive
b/w- blood work
CD - cycle day
CM - cervical mucous
DPO - days past ovulation
DX - diagnosis
E2 - Estradiol (basically your follie growing hormone)
ED- Erectile Dysfunction
Endo - endometriosis
EOD- Every other day
ER/ET - egg retrieval/transfer
FF - fertiliy friend - www.fertilityfriend.com
FMU - first morning urine
Follie - Follicles (basically your eggs - or what your eggs grow in - kind of...)
FSH - follicle stimulating hormone
HCG - basically the pregnancy hormone - will be given as a trigger for ovulation
HOM - high order multiples
HPT - home pregnancy test
HSG - Hysterosalpingogram
IF - infertility
IUI - intra-uternine insemination
IVF - in vitro fertilization
LAP - laparoscopy
LP/LPD - luteal phase/ LP defect
MFI - male factor infertility
MH- My Husband
O - Ovulation
OBGYN/GYN - Obstetrician/Gyno (aka your girly bits dr)
OHSS - Ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome
OOP - out of pocket (aka your insurance company is screwing you royally)
OPK - ovulation predictor (kit)
PCOS - polycystic ovarian syndrome
PN- Prenatal Vitamin
RE - reproductive endocrinologist (aka a fertility specialist)
SA - semen analysis
SHG - Sonohysterogram
TCOYF - Taking Charge of Your Fertility (an AWESOME book)
TI - Timed intercourse
U/S - ultrasound

Trying to Conceive Tips

(Obvs I am not pregnant yet so these are not get pregnant quick tips but just some things to help you understand your fertility, and some helpful advice I've learned a long the way.)

When I started TTC I started taking a prenatal vitamin, I think a multi-vitamin is always a good idea so just change your Multi to a PN.

Find out when you are ovulating 

• Chart your Basal Body Temperature (you can purchase a cheap BB Thermometer from Walmart) Make sure you take your temperature at the same time every morning and after at least 3 hours of solid sleep. My favorite website to chart your BBT is Fertility Friend. They make it easy and have lots of lessons to help you understand your body better.
• Use Ovulation predictor tests. You can purchase ovulation tests in bulk online to make it more affordable. Ovulation kits measure the amount of Lutenizing Hormone in your body. Right before you ovulate your body releases a large amount of LH. The test kits are easy to use. They are very similar to a pregnancy test. You will have a reference line and then a sample line to compare that to. Once you show a positive test for ovulation you should have intercourse within twenty-four hours.
• Watching your body's signs of ovulation check your CM and look for EW and Watery CM. FF can help teach you how to check your cervical position as well as your cervical mucus.
• Read TCOYF to learn more about your body, ovulation, and fertility

Sex Timing

• A lot of people suggest every other day sex around ovulation time. Other's say Every day sex. Really as long as you have sex 1+ times around ovulation you have a shot! MH and I have always tried to keep sex fun and not make it about making a baby (even though it really is) so we have sex when we want to. It usually is about EOD anyway so that works for us.

Different things I've heard about

• PreSeed is a great fertility friendly lubricant
• The Husband can eat pineapple core before sex and the wife can eat it after ovulation to help with implantation
• The wife can drink Pomegranate juice or Green Tea
• Remain lying down 20 mins after well TI. Go to the restroom after that! ;)
• I know this is a hard one but try to not stress about TTC
• Another hard one but losing weight (if you need to) can't hurt  
•  I've read that Wheat germ can help to "normalize" your cycles
• Watch the Great Sperm Race  

Testing

If a year or 12 cycles passes (6 months 35+) and you are not pregnant yet you can start testing to see if there is an underlying problem. In our case we knew that I have PCOS, but we did some additional testing to check to see if any other problems were occurring. (Most Testing & Treatment information from Slick)

If you think you need testing, I'd see how much your OBGYN is willing to work with you. I would first ask for CD3 b/w, 7DPO b/w, and an u/s. All of these things can be done within the same cycle. CD3 b/w can typically be done on CD2-4, so if CD3 falls on a weekend, you should be able to work something out. Now with 7DPO b/w, do NOT let your OBGYN or one of the nurses confuse this with CD21 b/w. CD21 b/w is only useful if you O'd on CD14. The only way for you to CONFIRM ovulation is by charting your BBT (www.fertilityfriend.com is a great website for this). OPK's do NOT confirm ovulation and most RE's are not satisfied with only that information. Your blood work will be checking your hormone levels, thyriod, blood sugars, etc. The u/s will check for any major uterine abnormalities and the overall look of your ovaries.

If you want a SA (semen analysis) can also be done this cycle. I would make sure to do this before any more invasive tests are ordered for you as this test is SOOOO easy and relatively cheap OOP.

Ok, so those tests came back. Now, if you're still not pregnant (and if it's been a year of well timed sex), then get thee to a RE!!! Once there, they'll probably take the reigns but if not, ask for a HSG or SHG next.(have you noticed that I haven't mentioned treatments yet...yes, that was on purpose - no treatments should have been ordered yet) This will show a more in depth look of your uterus and check to see if your tubes are all clear.
If this comes back clear, then it's likely treatments will start... (see next section for more info)

The next step in testing is a LAP. This is a diagnostic surgery. It's very simple in surgery terms and most women have easy recoveries. Little cameras will be inserted through small incisions in your belly and they'll look around. This is the only way to definitively diagnose endo and other issues. It will also give them a look at other organs around the uterus and inside.

Sometimes your doctor, whether new or old, might order repeats of tests. This is especially true of shady SA's. If you get bad results with those a repeat will almost always be ordered a few months down the road.

Treatment

Now you're in the treatment phase. Treatment will depend greatly on your diagnosis. Some people only require simple treatments and some will skip straight to IVF. It really just depends.

One of the most simple treatments is a medicated cycle with TI. Common medications for first cycles are Clomid and Femara. Here is the protocol that should be followed for almost any medicated cycle:

CD3: baseline u/s and b/w - this will be a check to make sure you don't have any cysts, your lining is appropriately thin, your blood flow to your uterus is good and your hormone levels are where they should be.

CD10-12: Follie check & b/w - this will check to see how and if your follies are growing and to make sure you aren't over responding (OHSS)

Then you'll go in every few days or so until you have mature follies. Then your RE will either instruct you on when to have sex or give you a trigger shot (to give yourself at home) so you'll O 36 hours later and know when exactly to have sex.

7DPO: this will be to check your progesterone levels. If your progesterone is too low, then you cannot sustain a pregnancy and then you might be put onto prog. supplements.

This monitoring might seem extreme but it is so so SOOOOO important. I don't know why anyone would want to risk their reproductive health when there are options to help. Many fertility medications (like Clomid) can be very dangerous. It can cause horrible cysts, thinned uterine lining which may be permanent, HOM (wanna be the next Kate+8?) and other awful side effects.

Ok, so you tried a few cycles of TI and it didn't work. The next step would be medicated cycle + IUI. You will follow the same protocol up until the sex part and then instead your husband will go give a sample about an hour before you go in to be sperminated. May the sperm be with you. There are varying levels of IUI protocol's. After Clomid/Femara there are then FSH injects. These increase the odds of pregnancy but then also increase the odds of HOM. They're also like liquid gold as the medications can cost thousands of dollars each cycle.
Next, if you and your RE feel that IUI isn't working and they want to go to the next step, that would be IVF. IVF is very invasive and very expensive. You will inject yourself at home (with similar drugs or the same drugs) as you used in an injects cycle. When your follies are ready you'll then go in for an egg retrieval. This is where your RE goes in and removes your eggs - as many mature ones as they can. This might be 20 or it might be 3. Of course higher numbers mean more chances but there are no guarantees. After the eggs are retrieved, they will be sperminated by your RE with your husband's sperm. They will then closely monitor your new embryos. Depending on the quality of your embryos that were fertilized (if any) they will transfer them back in 3 or 5 days after (I've also heard of day 6 transfers). Now, make sure you have a responsible doctor and only transfer 1 or 2 (mayyyybe 3). Don't go Octomom on us and transfer 10, mmmkay?

Now, that was an extremely sugarcoated version of IVF. It's painful, emotional, expensive, and hard. I've never been in that situation but know a few people that have been through it.

Costs.

These are general estimates based on my own personal experiences as well what I've heard from friends and patients

Medicated + TI: $500-1,000
Medicated + IUI: $700-1500
Injects + IUI: $1000-3000
IVF: $9,000+ (each time)
FET: 3,000+

I hope this information was helpful to someone, and at least informative to any others wanting to learn more about Fertility.



September is PCOS Awareness Month

What would u do if u had a life changing condition that could make dreams of parenthood disappear? what would u do if you had a life changing condition that turned your life upside down? Thousands of women have to deal with this every day - its called PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) 10-15% of females have this condition which can cause many other conditions such as Infertility, Diabetes, Endometrial Cancer, and Heart problems to name but a few. September is PCOS awareness month! Help get the awareness out there ♥

Photo Credit ~ Cafe Press



I found this video on you tube, it made me cry. 

Third times the charm?

One can only hope! Yesterday was cycle day 1 and even though I was upset, today I have hope, and determination to go through another cycle, and make this one it! We will start our 3rd round of clomid tomorrow, and use an hCG trigger shot this time around. I hope lucky month 15 is it for us, but if it isn't I want to promise myself that I won't let this consume me. I have so much going for me and so much to be grateful for, I can't let trying to conceive rule my life and emotions.

“Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path.” Proverbs 3:4-5

Cycle Day 3 Bloodwork

Yesterday I had Cycle day 3 bloodwork done. Most of my numbers actually looked pretty dam good! The only issue is my LH (Luetenizing Hormone) is a little bit higher than it should be. That is normal with PCOS, and totally explains why my OPKs (Ovulation Predictor Tests) get a faint line EVERY time a take a test! I also had my regular lab work done at the same time. I am very happy to report that my new even healthier lifestyle decreased my cholesterol by 22 points, just in one year!!

I'm going to post my results I'm pretty sure I understand them, and know what they mean, but if anyone has any insight please let me know!!

CD 3 Lab Results.

FSH               5.4

 LH                  9.3

Estradiol     <20  

Progesterone  0.4

Prolactin      17.7

Follicle Stimulating Hormone (FSH) Day 3 3-20 mIU/ml FSH is often used as a gauge of ovarian reserve. In general, under 6 is excellent, 6-9 is good, 9-10 fair, 10-13 diminished reserve, 13+ very hard to stimulate. In PCOS testing, the LH:FSH ratio may be used in the diagnosis. The ratio is usually close to 1:1, but if the LH is higher, it is one possible indication of PCOS.

Luteinizing Hormone (LH) Day 3 < 7 mIU/ml A normal LH level is similar to FSH. An LH that is higher than FSH is one indication of PCOS.

Estradiol (E2) Day 3 25-75 pg/ml Levels on the lower end tend to be better for stimulating. Abnormally high levels on day 3 may indicate existence of a functional cyst or diminished ovarian reserve.


Prolactin Day 3 < 24 ng/ml Increased prolactin levels can interfere with ovulation. They may also indicate further testing (MRI) should be done to check for a pituitary tumor. Some women with PCOS also have hyperprolactinemia.

Progesterone (P4) Day 3 < 1.5 ng/ml Often called the follicular phase level. An elevated level may indicate a lower pregnancy rate. If low progesterone levels are an issue for you, consider taking a natural fertility supplement like FertilAid for Women.

http://www.fertilityplus.org/faq/hormonelevels.html 

Round Two

So here goes a second round, I start 100mg of Clomid tonight. I'm trying to stay positive, and be hopeful! Has anyone taken clomid before and then used estrogen? My Doctor prescribed me Estrogen to take after the 5 days of Clomid. I haven't heard of this before so just wondering if anyone else has had success with it.

First round of Clomid was a....

........................................................................................................................................................................

Not even a BFN, just a big fat fricken FAIL!!! Had my U/S today that showed no ovulation and no follicular growth. So I'm starting prometrium again tonight and starting over. My Doctor has increased my Clomid dose this time and at the advice of a friend I think we are going to up my Metformin as well. Plus I plan to include eating low carb and try to exercising more. I knew I shouldn't have let my hopes get so high, I totally thought he was going to surprise me today and be like your 4 days pregnant! I'm trying to just focus on the next cycle and stay positive, but honestly it's tough!

Keeping it Real

Sex and Trying to conceive a child can sometimes become tedious, or so I've heard. Not to get too personal, but so far making a baby hasn't become a chore yet in this house.

Josue and I's schedules clash so sometimes we like to plan dates, I think the dates really help our sex life and relationship in general. Planning the dates for each other are fun and we really connect while on them. So I'm throwing out a couple of our fav "date nights" in hopes that others will start dating their husbands too. (if you do already, great! maybe some of these will be fun new ideas to try)

I'm sorry if some of these ideas are So-Cal related, but a lot of them can be applied anywhere.

Also a disclaimer some of these are full of cheesetasticness. But hey a little cheese never hurt any one's relationship :)

Dinner & A Movie, a twist on a classic

Plain old dinner and a movie can be a great escape from reality and a fun date, but Josue and I like to turn it up a notch. We found the little gem of Vineland Drive-In a few years ago and have gone back many times. You can see two movies for eight dollars, and you can bring in your own food! Sometimes we bring in Little Ceasers, we make a picnic, or a full blown dinner. Whatever we do we have fun, plus we can talk during the movie and no one will shush us ;) If you have a SUV or truck and you're brave you can always make it Dinner, Sex and a Movie.

Another place we've just come across is Gold Class Cinemas.

We've only been once since at 22/ticket plus food this place can get pricey, but for a true date night it is a must try! This place is like a hotel, with a check-in, concierge, and lounge. You can order your dinner, and a server will bring it to your movie seat. You can order a "real" drink at the lounge and even appetizers before hand. Cold, want a refill or dessert? Just push the light on your table and your server will be right over. The seats are situated well so you don't even notice the servers, and when we went there were no children which made for a nice experience.

Outdoor Activites

One of our favorite outings are the ones during the day time where we can be out, maybe get a little exercise and bonus if we can bring our dog Bentley.


We love the Long Beach Farmer's market, it is a rare treat since usually one of us is working, but when we get a chance to go we take it! We walk Bentley up and down the aisles and pick up lots of fresh organic fruits and vegetables.

We also really like riding our bikes (teaching Bentley to tag along is out next goal) sometimes we take them to the beach and pack a picnic. Other times we just ride around our neighborhood for short trips.

We even make our dog park trips fun. Most of the time Josue or I take Bentley on our own while the other one is at work. But once in a while we pack some sandwiches or grill some burgers and head to the park with B-Man. We sit a bench by the lake and give Bent some food. It is nice to just talk and eat with the breeze. After a nice walk we give Bentley some time with the other dogs. He seriously has a blast. I'm not sure why but when Josue and I go together it almost seems like he has more fun. Seeing him happy gives us great joy.

Theme Parks

A self expalnitory section, but if you have a theme park near you and you have an extra day with your guy go live a little. Every year we get annual passes to a different near by park. And since we have so many it makes it easy for us. It cuts down your costs too. This year we have Universal, and last we had Disneyland so it is fun to go to a new place each year.

Double Dates

We have a few friends that are couples that we like hanging out with, Johnny and Kristal, Yeimy & Ronald, Kristel & Jason, any couple from TKN, the list goes on and on. But there is this couple (Temo & Cecia) that we seem to click with and hang out with the most. Josue works with Temo and Cecia and I just hit it off. We have a lot in common even though they aren't ready for marriage and babies just yet. Bowling has been our favorite activity. If you have a bowling place near you I highly suggest it. We order drinks, get competive, it's great! We've also gone roller skaitng, ice skating, and gone to theme parks together. We love going on double dates with them, we do things with them that we wouldn't have tried on our own and vice versa. Our favorite dinner spot is Benihana. Have you ever been to a teppan cooking place? If not put it on your list of things to try, it is so yummy! We also have fun traveling with them we've gone on Vegas trips, to Big Bear, even Maui with them and they are fun travel partners. Anyway I guess the point of this was to try double dating. It may seem like your back in high school, but it can be fun and open up your eyes to things, or discuss topics that would never be brought up with just you and your spouse.

Church

This one is definetly not Josue's favorite date, but when it is my turn to pick he has to abide :) He isn't a brat about it so I love him for that. Church can be a nice time for the two of you to connect to God and eachother.

Weekend Getaways

OK now this one can be extravagant or not. Josue and I try to go away at least 4x year. I'm sure this will change when baby comes but for now we like the little escapes. We get to forget about reality and just have fun together. Some of our favorite spots are Las Vegas & San Diego. But Camping various places has become a great time too. We also like to one big trip at least once every two years, but I think the little get aways are important. Especially when going through something so emotionally draining such as TTC. I even give my self permission to leave the thermometers, and OPKs at home :)

Staying In

I realize that based on all the above information it must seem like we spend a lot of money, and yes maybe we do but we like to have fun :)

That isn't to say that we do it all the time, and that we don't have fun just hanging out at home. Some of the best time we have together are our lazy days at home. We love to cook together and watch a movie on TV. Sometimes after the farmer's market we scour the internet to look for yummy new recipes to make together. Or other times Josue makes me a candle-lit dinner, and I make him a yummy dessert.

Whatever it may be have fun together, try new things, and enjoy being married!

Also, I realize that we don't have children and things will change once we do. But for now we like to live it up and hope you can too. I believe that I can still in one way or another Date my Husband once a little miracle comes in to our lives.

Infertile? ... Update on our Journey

Infertility;
Inability to conceive; Unable to get pregnant

Primary infertility describes couples who have never been able to become pregnant after at least 1 year of unprotected sex (intercourse).

I googled Infertility because I wanted to add a photo to this blog and that definition is what came up (before I hit "images")

Anyway it struck me because today this defines us. When we first started this journey last July we decided to take it slow, we knew going into this that we would have some struggle but we thought we were prepared. Well now that 12 months have passed, we are each a year older, and we've seen how hard this can be. We've decided to take a more active role in Trying to concieve. Since we started TTC I have only recorded ovulation twice. Dam PCOS!! During one of those ovulation times we got our BFP, but it was short lived. I discussed all this with my OB and we've all decided to start clomid. I had my HSG and except for some cramping it went ok, and my tubes are all clear, yay! Josue still doesn't want to do a SA just yet but he has all the paperwork for when he is ready. I also had my pre-clomid u/s which went well, so I started my prometrium to induce a period and hopefully we will start clomid to induce ovulation in the next day or so.

;)

Inositol, Choline and PCOS

Recently I have been doing a lot of research on my disorder PCOS. Trying to find natural remedies to help with my symptoms. I found this article and many like it that encourage woman to take Inositol and Choline supplements since we have decreased amounts in our systems, and lowered abilty to absorb them. At work recently I was asked to help write a booklet on our new weight management program. We started offering what are called Lipotropic injections to our patients as part of the program. To better explain the injections I wrote the following excerpt as part of the book. I've decided to include it in my blog in case there are any other women with PCOS that are interested.

Lipotropic nutrients are compounds that promote the flow of fat and bile to and from the liver. In essence the produce a “decongesting” effect on the liver and promote improved liver function and fat metabolism. Lipotropics decreases fat deposits and speeds up the metabolism and the natural removal of fat from the human body. By definition, a lipotropic substance decreases the deposit, or speeds up the removal of fat within the liver (lipo = fat, tropic = stimulate). There are three key amino acids used to make these lipotropic shots are Choline, Methione, and Inositol.

Choline supports the health of the liver in its processing and excretion of chemical waste products within the body. Moreover, it is required for the transport and metabolism of fats and cholesterol within the body, which is important for the healthy support of the endocrine, cardiovascular and hepatic systems.

Methione is one of the sulfur-containing amino acids and is important for many bodily functions. It acts as a lipotropic agent to prevent excess fat buildup in the liver and the body, is helpful in relieving or preventing fatigue and may be useful in some cases of allergy because it reduces histamine release.

Inositol a nutrient belonging to the B vitamin complex is closely associated with choline. It aids in the metabolism of fats and helps reduce blood cholesterol. Inositol participates in the action of serotonin, a neurotransmitter known to control mood and appetite.

Vitamin B12 is also added to the injection which is essential for helping to form new, healthy cells in the body. It also boosts energy, helping to increase activity levels.


The different ingredients of the Lipotropic B12 mixtures are known to provide the following attributes:
• Co-enzymes that are required for proper metabolism of fats, and have the ability to remove fat from the liver
• energy boost
• speed up thought process and improve mood
• building blocks for cell walls
• essential components for normal cell and brain function
• help control cholesterol levels and gallstones
• helps emulsify cholesterol and detoxify amines
• helps keep healthy skin tone and strong nails
• promote healthy hair growth, and controlling estrogen levels
• help with transforming carbohydrates into energy

Because of the article Rebecca Rice M.S., L.Ac. wrote and others along with my own research, I decided to talk to my Doctor about taking the injections myself. I'm not sure if they will help me get pregnant or not, but it sounds like a great injectable supplement either way so with my Doctor's permission I started taking them.

HMO vs PPO and Infertility

As long as I can remember I've had an HMO. I had a PPO as a kid, but I don't really know much about it. Once we started TTC we looked into our pregnancy/baby benefits with Aetna HMO. We thought it sounded great, it was only going to cost 250.00 for the whole pregnancy/delivery. I was very content even though Claim Jumper had just bumped up our insurance cost 300.00 dollars a month.

Then last month we were told that the Landry's Company (the owners of the Restaurant where J works) were switching us all to United Health Care PPO (only). I was worried that we were going to have to spend so much more money, I always thought PPO's were for rich people, and we are far from rich. I love my HMO doctor, so I had no interest in a PPO "so I could pick any doctor" The HMO of course wouldn't pay for any infertility testing or procedures but neither will my new PPO. I seriously couldn't find one good thing about this new insurance. It is costing us 100.00 more per month, we have a huge out of pocket yearly max, and a deductible that isn't cheap! After looking into our new benefits I freaked out! It is going to cost us 3,000 dollars to have a baby! and even more if we need a c-section.

Once I got over the fact that this is what we have, and we're just going to have to take it. I also tried to be grateful that we have insurance at all. I know so many people that just go without it. I talked to friends about it and got some good information. My Boss and some others even convinced me that a PPO will be good for us because I can go to any hospital, and in emergency situations you get much better care. Sad but true.



Anyway there is a good point to my long story. I work at a whole health medical clinic. Kinda like in the show Private Practice. We have a GP, an OB/GYN, and an RD,  we even are starting a preventative weight loss program.  It is a great working environment, and I am constantly learning. After work last week my Boss and I were discussing my new insurance predicament. She told me that I can see our OB/GYN if I wanted to. I felt a little awkward at first but he is so awesome that you just immediately feel comfortable with him. He told me that if I wanted to he would be more than happy to help Jand I get pregnant. I could be his patient and he wouldn't charge me, he would just bill to the insurance. If we choose to have him deliver our baby we get to deliver at Huntington Hospital in Pasadena, which I hear is very nice :) How amazing is this!? This would never even be a possibilty if I still had the HMO. It's funny how God works in this way sometimes. You think you want one thing but he tells you that you need the other thing. I realize we may not get pregnant right away but after trying for 11 months I needed some new motivation. This good news is exactly what I needed. When you have your husband poking at your ovaries and asking them to start working and you lose your chance at carrying a baby to term your spirit gets crushed, you need some new found sprirt. I found some recently and I am so grateful.

So here's hoping for a spring baby!
Ok So maybe that wasn't the best title it should be more like Daniella ramblings about insurance etc, but I was trying to be catchy.