Sunday, August 7, 2011

Three years ago today

A Honeymoon is supposed to be a fun relaxing time that you spend with your new spouse. Our Honeymoon didn't go exactly as we had planned. Three years ago Josue and I went on our honeymoon to the Riviera Maya, Mexico. On August 7th 2008 we went on a tour to Tulum, Mexico to see the ruins but we never made it.  Our tour bus driver fell asleep at the wheel and we crashed. It was scary and unreal. Two people passed and many others were severely hurt. I remember "coming to" hearing Josue call my name. He had been thrown to the back of the bus and I was slammed up against a broken window. We were stuck inside the bus for at least 30 minutes but it felt like an eternity. There was blood everyone and the man behind us couldn't find his wife. I remember feeling numb, but scared. Then a man started yelling "she's going to die" over and over again in reference to his Fiance. Josue calmed him down and we tied off her bleeding leg with a shoe lace.  When help finally came we got out of there and helped others to the ambulance. I had a piece of glass removed from my leg but other than bumps, bruises, and scrapes we were ok. Josue was amazing he helped translate for the people who didn't speak Spanish. He was there for me because I was shaking and crying. Now looking back it makes me realize what a stong man I married, and much I love him.
We were  taken back to our hotel and I remember thinking I was going to die because I felt so strange inside I thought I was for sure having internal bleeding. Once the strange feeling subsided and I saw a Doctor I felt a little better. Josue and I were given some muscle relaxers because the whip lash was terrible and I was given some antibiotic for my gash. We tried to use the next few days to relax and heal but it was hard, and we were both so glad to leave.
When we got home I was different. I was so grateful to be alive and praising God for choosing the seats he did for us. I couldn't imagine losing Josue, or him losing me. But I felt guilty, and sad all the time. I hurt inside and had horrible night terrors. It started to be hard for me to hide my feelings and Josue started to notice. He urged me to talk to him, but always said I was fine. Months went by and I didn't feel any better. I finally saw a Doctor and was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Survivors Guilt. I saw a therapist and started to take some medications. It was then I realized I had a problem, and needed to work through it. In all honesty I think what helped me the most was opening up about the accident. I started by telling God, then Josue and my Mom,  I went further and explained how I felt to my friends. Being open about my feelings helped me tremendously. I would never be able to explain the accident if it hadn't been for my healing. I have so much gratitude and feel so blessed now, and when I think of this day three years ago I can't smile, but I can feel good about God's choice to keep me and my husband alive. I'm still afraid of buses, and I'm not sure if I will ever like them or feel completley safe on one, but I've ridden one and I'm ok. 

                                                                     After the accident

He is always there for me to lean on

The Newspaper article

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